(thx Safiya for video!)
I can attest to my own positive transformations in my life, and in the course of my work, that the best way to help someone is NOT by harping on their flaws, obsessing on their blindspots, or judge their shortcomings.
The best way to help each other is by *exposing their value*.
A repeated request people have in my mapping sessions is to help point out their negative qualities. While I certainly pay attention to the challenges people are going through, I try my best to expose the VALUE of the person’s perspective,
Most anything else seems to take care of itself — and the person we help ends up getting inspired, inspiring us in the process, showing us potential in humanity we didn’t see ourselves.
I think the word ‘compliment’ in the video doesn’t fully capture how profound this is…but the point of the video is nonetheless resounding and clear.
The success of my work as a Perspective Mapper is HOW MUCH VALUE CAN I UNCOVER IN SOMEONE?
Human Beings are Not Machines
There are many reasons we can get caught into the ‘fixing each other’ mindset.
One is the entrenched paradigm that a human being is like a broken car or computer…as if there is a ‘correct’ way to be a human being in this ever-changing, rapidly evolving world we live in. (Note: The well-adjusted people of today can quickly turn into the mal-adjusted people of tomorrow.)
Now, for assembly line type jobs, sure — you can troubleshoot and hone behaviors for greater efficiency. But the value of a human being is much more than a machine that churns out predictable results.
In fact, as opposed to a broken car, a ‘broken human’ being actually has even more potential to share, more value to surface, more insight to provide. A seemingly broken human being is potentially the most beautiful, perceived through the right lens as they can see fault-lines where others cannot.
Their perspective is especially valuable.
Humility comes from Self-Value, not Shame
Another is the notion that we need to trash another human being to humble them. However, I find true humility comes when we truly feel own our value — not when we are beseeched by shame or guilt for falling short.
A lot of times, it’s the teachers own guilt or shame being passed to their students, locking them into the same box they themselves found themselves in. Or, a lot of times teachers might be envious of their students, locking them down to prevent them from truly realizing a potential they never did.
Many of us, including myself, have various levels of abuse or trauma from the guilt or shame accumulated over life to work out of our system. But those moments when we get a glimpse at our actual potential are truly momentous.
I am immensely grateful to those who have fixated on my value, especially MWH. I invite you to spend a moment to be thankful to those who helped you see your own value as well.
Ranjeeth Thunga
rkt@perspectivemapper.com